Mr. Dick Misogynes, a serial rapist
who has been president of the R.R.R. (Republican Rapists for Romney) since he
was paroled from prison, said that he hasn’t felt so good since his last rape.
Misogynes said, “Richard Moredick
[sic] became my hero when he announced, ‘I struggled with it myself for a long
time, but I came to realize that life is that gift from God. And, I think, even
when life begins in that horrible situation of rape, that it is something that
God intended to happen.’”
“I fucking agree,” Misogynes added.
“I too struggled for a long time, like staying in the closet like I was a dirty
queer or something bad like that. It’s an awful feeling. I raped and raped and
raped, twelve years old to eighty years old. I never thought I was doing
anything wrong. Deep in my heart I knew I was doing good because it felt good.
But now I understand that I was doing God’s work by creating more gift babies
from God. It didn’t always work. That eighty-year-old her heart just stopped.
But now I realize it stopped because it was so full of love.
When asked about the Mourdock
calling rape a “horrible situation,” Misogynes said, “He must of mispronounced
what he meant. Politicians do that all the time. He probably meant happy
situation. How can a situation that impregnates a woman with God’s gift of life
be horrible?”
I’ve been like an angel doing what
God wanted me to do, doing what God himself did when he impregnated Mary. And he did not ask for her permission. And afterward she was happy because she knew the baby was a blessing from God. So truly I am doing God's work. I don’t know how many women received the gift of life from
me the way Mary got pregnant with Jesus, but I did the best I could. And I
think that if they didn’t get pregnant it was because they were saying no to
God. I’m thinking maybe I’m not a sinner but a saint. It’s those women who
didn’t get pregnant who are the sinners.”
Mr. Misogynes said that perhaps
rapists will be able to come out of the closet and be able to do their divine
mission without interference from the authorities. He said people ought to be
thankful to have a rapist living in their community. It is a sign that God has
chosen their neighborhood for gift giving.
He concluded the interview saying
that the rapists of America will be uniting to give Romney and Ryan their full
support. “God bless the Republican Party and God bless the rapists of America.”
