“‘And,
Papa, is that why the gringos will soon disappear from the earth like the
dinosaurs?’
“‘The
problem, Lope, is that gringos are impotent. They give birth to only one or two
children and often none. Gringos fuck a lot but produce few children, so it
must be God’s will. He does not bless a sick people. So we will win the war
against the gringo with bullets, ballots, and
babies.’
“‘Still,
Papa, it’s strange that the gringos would do nothing, that they would allow
themselves to be overrun by the cockroach people as you call us.’
“‘It
seems so, Lope, but it is the same reason God gives them only pocos ninõs. I will explain. The
gringos are too decadent, too depravado to do anything. Most are too busy
watching their big televisions and eating pizza and burgers and drinking
Budweiser cerveza to pay us much
notice. You know, the gringo is always speaking of the corruption in Mexico but
the corruption in Mexico is only among the politicians and capitalistas grasa, just as in the U.S., but
the Mexican people are not corrupt. In America the disease of corruption is a
plague among the gringos. They even have a word for the sickness, affluenza.’
“‘Like
influenza,’ said Lope.
“‘Exactly
except that it sickens the soul rather than the body. It is like a fever that
causes the sick one never to be satisfied never to be still. These people are
like hormigas, always busy being busy
but they are worse because the hormigas
rest in the winter and work for the colony as the Mexican people do. In fact I
do not think any of nature’s creatures are like the gringo because nature’s
creatures are not depraved. Perhaps a disease such as cancer which is never
satisfied until it causes death. Affluenza
is a disease of unsatisfied desire. El
consumo has become a way of life for the gringo because I think gringos are
no longer a people of the land and village. They sold out the old ways and in
doing so sold their souls. They are hollow, a forest of dead trees, their
insides eaten out by the termites of desire. They try to fill the emptiness
with impedimenta but the hollowness is never filled because it can never be
filled with such things. But this the gringo does not understand. So he’ll
continue searching for things to fill the emptiness and continue to fail
because he no longer knows what is of value, that which gave his life meaning
before emptiness came.
“‘I’m
not sure I understand, Papa.’
“‘I
will give you an example, my son. You have heard of Walmart yes?’
“‘Of
course,’ said Lope, ‘everyone has heard of Walmart. They are the monster stores
that are as big as villages and filled with everything sold under the sun.’
“‘Yes
they are famous throughout the world. Well the gringos love Walmart even though
as you said they are monster stores as big as a village but they also contain
the merchandise of a hundred small towns so that when one is built all the
small towns and their mom-and-pop stores for miles and miles around wither and
die. And if a Walmart is built in a big city hundreds of little businesses die.
That is how Walmart is a monster, a devilfish, its tentacles reaching far out
beyond itself destroying towns and businesses and with them the old ways of
living and doing business. Of course the old culture dies and all that is left
is an ugly box the size of a village, surrounded by a giant parking lot and
boarded up empty stores.’
“’But
that must be sad for gringos.’
“’Gringos
do not care as long as they can buy cheap. They do not seem to know that what
they buy is not so cheap but has cost them dearly. In order to buy cheaper
toothpaste or cheaper CDs they have sold the souls of their communities. And
now there is another devilfish called Amazon that even more destructive because
its tentacles enter the home. So today gringos are able to isolate themselves
in their houses in the suburbs that are truly like ghost towns. Gringos leave
their houses only to work and buy food. In the suburbs there is no community
life. Such a way of living seems strange to us, but unlike us gringos are not
gregarious. Like their frontier hero Daniel Boone they are loners at
heart. He said that when he was able to
see smoke from the chimney of his nearest neighbor, he knew it was time to move
again to someplace less crowded. We Mexican prefer to live in villages and
barrios, places alive and crowded with people. Have you never heard the story
of Faust, Lope?’
“‘No’
said Lope.
“‘Well
Faust was a man who sold his soul to the devil.’
“‘Why
would a man ever do such a thing?’ ask Lope very much astounded by the idea.
“‘Because
Faust wanted everything and was willing to trade his soul for all the things he
desired. But of course once he gave up his soul he discovered that everything
would not fill the hollowness created by the absence of his soul.’
“‘Why
is that?’ asked Lope.
“‘Because
your soul is your true self and dwells deep within you like a spring and
nourishes all that you do so that you become something truly, something more
than just having money, having sex, having a fancy car, having this and that,
but being something truly. But you must find your soul because it flows quietly
and you must drink from it all your life.’
“‘And
Faust did not do this?’ asked Lope.
“‘No,
he did not. He lost his soul and went to hell. But you see, Lope, the moral of
the story is that hell is not a place. Hell is losing yourself. And, Lope, can
you tell me why losing yourself would be hell?’
“‘I
think because then you are nothing’ said Lope gravely.
“‘I
was right to return to Mexico for my son because he is wise and will become
wiser’ said Arsenio. And I could see, Señor Thomas, that Arsenio loved his son
very much. Then he went on about the gringo.
“‘You
see, Lope, the gringo is not wise. He is like a man who thinks he’s wise, who
is puffed up like a puffer fish with pride but he is truly empty within because
he has traded his soul for things, the things that fill his monster stores.
There are many monsters in the U.S. Walmart and Amazon are only two. So the
gringo’s hollowness will continue to grow but we Mexicans are not lost.
“‘We
are like the mountain lion and the coyote, like the hawk and the woodpecker,
the butterfly and the scorpion, the lizard and the snake, the cactus and the
sunflower, like all of nature’s creatures who know who they are. We know where
we must go, what we must do, and what we must not do. And most of all we must
be careful not to catch the gringo sickness. Many years ago another great
general of El Movimiento Rodolfo Gonzales warned the Mexican people about the
sickness of the gringos, a sickness the entire world fears today. And this is
very important, Lope, so listen carefully,’ and Lope leaned a little closer to
his father to show that he was very interested.
“‘Gonzales
said that the gringo society is a sick society, that the gringos have achieved
great technological progress but at the expense of their souls, like the body
builders who use steroids that make their muscles very big but cause their cajones to wither like dried grapes and
become impotent.
“‘One
day, Lope, I will take you where you can see clearly what has happened to the
gringo—Las Vegas—a mecca for the spiritually dead, a city of whores and pimps,
where the glutton gringos swill booze, take drugs, and have sex and lose their
money and lives. A city that brags “What
happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” You see, Lope, cities are a bigger
version of people. So when you go to Las Vegas it is like looking at the gringo
under a microscope. You can see what he really is, or perhaps I should say what
he has become.’
“‘Papa,
I’m not sure what you mean. I think I would like to go to Las Vegas but you say
it is a city of the dead.’
“‘The
dead are without souls and by that I mean the gringos have lost their way
because they have lost the old ways, the ways rooted in the land, village, and
people. As you know Las Vegas means
fertile fields but no longer. In that place what now grows is corruption. In
order not to face their emptiness the hollow gringos must keep buying things
and keep being entertained; otherwise their emptiness will swallow them like
the whale swallowed Jonah and in the darkness they will be terrified and lose
their minds. So they must always be distracted by this or that in order to stay
ahead of the dark whale that seeks to swallow them into darkness. Thus they
have become addicted to the very thing that destroys them. They complain that
the immigrants will destroy them and we will but they are already mostly dead
from their own sickness.
“‘That
is why Gonzales warned that the greatest danger of the gringo people is not
their police, not their army, not their government—because those things cannot
destroy the Chicano people. It is their spiritual sickness that can destroy the
people of Aztlán. That is why we must stay with our own people and protect our
culture from the gringo sickness. You say you would like to go to Las Vegas and
we will. But you must remember that the beautiful city that sparkles with a
million lights on the desert is a mirage, a fata morgana, that promises
happiness but gives only despair.’
“‘So
America is like the mirage of a lake seen by a man dying of thirst?’
“‘Yes,
it can be that, a lake of salt.’
“‘But
America is real not an illusion.’
“‘Of
course but remember that the harm of the mirage is that it leads the thirsty man
in the wrong direction. It is a beautiful thing to look upon but it doesn’t
give what a man truly thirsts for.’
“‘What
is that, Papa?’
“‘The
old ways rooted in the land, the village, and the people. It is the culture
passed on from generation to generation, a culture rooted in the earth and the
ways of the earth, not the culture of manufactured dreams designed and created
by those who make money from selling them and make slaves of those who buy
them.’
“‘This
thing is perhaps too difficult for me to understand, Papa.’
“‘No
it’s not. Let me approach it from another direction. Does the carnival still
come to Asolaca?’
“‘Of
course. Did you not go when you lived in Asolaca?’
“‘Yes
many times but tell me, Lope, what was the most fun for you?’
“‘I
liked the animals especially the lion and elephant and the camel which you
could ride. And the mechanical rides of course such as the Ferris wheel and
octopus.’
“‘Yes
I remember all that. And the haunted house, does it still exist?’
“‘Yes
but it’s less scary when you are older.’
“‘And
are there still the freak shows with the likes of the fat bearded lady and the
tattooed man?’
“‘No,
Papa. All the women are fat today though they do not have beards, perhaps a
small mustache.’ Saying this Lope smiled at his little joke and I was very
happy to see he had a sense of humor. Then he continued. ‘I think the gangsters
who wear tattoos today are more scary than the tattooed man you saw at the old
carnival. But there was one tent that contained many dead babies in jars.’
“‘I
remember that yes. And of course there are still games of skill that you can
play to win a stuffed animal or a fish that would be dead the next day.’
“‘You
are very funny, Papa. I like that. Yes the games still exist and the fish
always die.’
“‘And
so the people leave their village, their homes, and their work to go to the
carnival. Why do they do that, Lope?’
“‘You
know, Papa, to have fun of course. To escape from real life for an evening
because life is not so easy for the people in the village.’
“‘And
so the carnival is not real life, Lope?’
“‘In
a way no. For the people who work for the carnival maybe but for the others
it’s just make-believe.’
“‘Like
daydreams, a pleasant place to visit.
“‘Yes,
Papa.’
“‘And
tell me, Lope. Did you ever think about running away with the carnival?’
“‘Yes
after returning home and lying in bed and thinking about the same old life in
Asolaca.’
“‘I
understand. Life in the village is not so exciting or as much fun as the
carnival and as you say, it is not so easy. So it is to be expected that you
would sometimes wish to go off with the carnival and become what the gringos
call carnies, people of the carnival. Then you could play the games and go on
the rides and visit the freak shows all you want.’
“‘Yes,
Papa, that is what I have thought many times.’
“‘But
those who join the carnival leave the village and the old ways and become
nomads living in a fantasy world of merrymaking not for a day or a week but for
a lifetime. They are no longer rooted in the real world because they are always
on the move. They are a people who are disconnected. They have become strangers
in the world.’
“‘Is
that such a bad thing, Papa?’
“‘Not
for a few I suppose who are always restless. But I will tell you this because I
gave it some thought when I visited the big fairs and circuses in America.
These carnies do not seem so happy to me. They have hard looks, the looks
people have when they have lived too long alone in the world cut off from
family, friends, and neighborhood—the roots that nourish a life, the things
people go back to after visiting the carnival.
“‘My
grandfather, who died some years before you were born, told me once that a man
must always have a garden. At first I thought the idea was silly because
tending a garden is a woman’s job but I never said that because I respected my abuelito but I came to understand his
meaning once I came to the U.S. I felt lost for a while like a piece of litter
blown in the wind but soon I found the barrio and my roots began to grow once
more.’
“‘Is
land for gardens to be found in the city, Papa?’
“‘Not
so much, mijo, but what my
grandfather meant was that one’s people, la
raza, is the garden that one must tend and like a garden it will support
and nourish you. But do not worry, Lope, because many Latino gardens await us
in America and they grow larger each day. We have left your old village but
will soon be in the barrio of L.A.’
“‘And
the gringos do they not also have their garden?’
“‘No,
mijo, they do not because they have
become carnies and carnivalites. This is strange because the gringos are very
clever but they are not wise. If they were they would not allow us to take back
the land that belongs to us.’
“‘And
why is it, Papa, that they do not fight to keep what is now their homeland?’
“‘I
think it’s because of what I have been telling you. When you go to the carnival
do you take your worries with you?’
“‘No.
You go to the carnival to forget your worries.’
“‘Yes,
mijo, that is correct. But now tell
me why it is important that a carnival pack up and leave.’
“‘I
know, Papa, so that the people will return to their village like the gardener
who must return to his garden so that it will not die.’
“‘Oh
mijo, I see that you are a very fast
learner like your father which is essential in life because knowledge is your
weapon and your shield. And somehow this is what the gringo has forgotten and
it is that most of all that makes him helpless against us.’
“‘But
how could the gringos forget something so important?’
“‘You
see, Lope, some time ago the gringos went to the carnival and stayed or perhaps
the carnival came to America and never left. That is what you see clearly in a
city like Las Vegas, a city that has become a carnival. The gringos themselves
call it sin city but it is the
fastest growing and most visited city in America. Las Vegas is what America has
become, a culture without a soul. And if you were God and could listen to Las
Vegas as we listen to the conch… but first tell me what it is you hear when you
listen to the caracol de mar, Lope?’
“‘You
hear the sea, Papa. Everyone knows that.’
“‘Exactly
it’s a great thing really. But if you were God and held Las Vegas to your ear
do you know what you would hear?’
“‘No,
Papa. What?’
“‘You
would hear a hollow sound...emptiness.’
“‘But
do not the gringos hear it, Papa?’
“‘No
they do not because their culture is full of noise.’
“Aah,
I think I understand your meaning, Papa.’
“‘But there is more, Lope. Now the carnival has
entered into their homes through the television, the DVD, the computer, and the
stereo. The carnival in America has become a devilfish like Walmart and Amazon.
Even in their homes the gringos have forgotten about the garden of the family
and friends and community, all that Mexicans value. That is why America is the
land of opportunity but also an insidious place for Mexicans. For the gringo it
is too late. For them it is the land of the living dead. That is why I have no
sympathy for the gringo.
“‘They gave up the garden and for what, my son? A
life without substance, without permanence. They dream their empty dreams but
when they awake they will discover they have nothing, only a shell made of
those things which are purchased.
“‘And the reason I tell you this is so that you
will not be drawn into the carnival of the gringos and forget who you really
are because once you forget who you are you are nothing.’
“‘But…but Papa, if you mean forget that I am a
Mexican you do not have to worry. I would never forget such a thing.’
“‘That is true, Lope, but only as long as you live
among your own people. Do you remember Señor Lopez I told you about, the wise
man who helped me to learn English?’
“‘Yes, how could I forget such a man?’
“‘It was from him that I first heard of how the
gringos have become a hollow people but he explained these things to me in a
very funny way. He called the gringos the sopaipilla people and said
that gringos behave the way they do because they are always trying to fill the
emptiness within them. And then he explained that when a people have lost their
souls they are reduced to their stomachs because they have nothing else to live
for. That is why the gringos are mucho obeso, why their cars are so big,
why their houses are never big enough, and why their garages are never big
enough to contain all that they own. And of course as their stomachs grow
larger and larger so do their appetites.’
“‘Papa, I would think that they would eventually
explode.’
“‘You are very smart, Lope, to think that because
they do in a way. They explode mentally by going crazy or physically by having
a heart attack or financially by going broke. And in many other ways. Gringos
love to preach about the family but their marriages do not last. They too
explode. The parents separate from one another and the children separate from
their parents.’
“‘That’s very sad is it not, Papa?’
“‘Do not feel sad for the gringo, Lope. We love
America but not the gringo because he is not our friend but our adversario.
This excerpt comes from Frank Kyle's novel Su Casa Es Mi Casa.
