Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is for you to give America back to Americans. I have tried to be a good boy and my sister has tried to be a good girl, but it has been very hard because we live in a barrio where there are a lot of Mexican bullies. I don’t like to fight, I just want to study and become a doctor or something else that will help America. But it’s impossible to learn anything at school because the barrio bullies are always interrupting class by throwing stuff and saying things like “gringo dork, we’re going to kick your ass after school” or “we’re going to rape your you little puta sister.” I am constantly getting hit and shoved, and I think I should fight back, but what good would that do? There are too many of them and I’m not like them because I don’t like to fight. Like I said I just want to study and go to college. They don’t care about any of that. Their whole lives are just about hurting people, taking drugs, and having sex, oh yeah, and doing graffiti, which is all over our neighborhood. I don’t think they really care if they go to jail or even get killed.
My dad says that America wasn’t always that way, not even where we live. He says the illegals, as he calls them, have ruined the country with their gangs, drugs, violence, and hatred of education. The guys are all a bunch of bullies and the women are just fat baby makers. And you can’t go anywhere without somebody talking Spanish, and we have to take Spanish in school because the illegals won’t learn to speak English.
But granddad says it’s not just the fault of the illegals. He says that America was a great country when he was my age and that America has become a nation of fat, stupid slobs. Granddad loves to watch those old American movies, and I don’t blame him. All the people are really classy. The men all dressed up in suits, ties, and hats, and the women looking beautiful in dresses, not like pigs in spandex. Last night we watched White Christmas on TV. It was great, like I said, all the women really dressed up and looking beautiful and the men really stylishly dressed. Even the music was a lot better than the gangster rap and hip hop the kids listen to at school.
Granddad said life wasn’t always easy in the old American days, but people were classier and whatever your struggle was you were doing it with your own people. He said that movies today are dirty, like Rock Hard and Forgetting Sarah Marshall, where you see guys’ penises or movies where you see guys kissing and butt-fucking, like that movie Brokeback Mountain. Boy did Granddad hate that one. He thought it was a western movie like the ones John Wayne played in. Dad says that movies today are mostly shit (he used the word, Santa, because he said they stink) because Hollywood is run by queers, commies, and Jews who hate the old America.
Granddad says he’s glad he ain’t going to live much longer because America is finished and living today is just depressing for the old timers, the people who built the country, not like the Mexicans who are invading the country, having their kids and then getting on welfare and bitching about Americans not treating them right. We passed by a grocery store where Mexicans had signs saying the store discriminates against immigrant labor. Granddad said the store ought to get a medal because the immigrants break the law when they invade the country and then keep on breaking laws once they get here. He said he hates the unions for taking the side of the invaders.
One really cool thing about the movie was that there weren’t a bunch of Mexican and Asians. America was still America then, said Granddad, but no more. The country’s been taken over by aliens because of corrupt politicians and businessmen. Even the generals and soldiers aren’t like those who fought in World War Two, the war the movie was about. He was really pissed that on Pearl Harbor Day Obama picked a Japanese guy to be in charge of veterans. He said it just goes to show you the country has been highjacked by aliens, including Obama because he is only half American. But Granddad said it would have never have happened if American traitors we’re already running the country.
Santa, what I want for Christmas is for you to give America back to Americans. But if you can’t do that, maybe you could take me back in time to when America was still America. I don’t mind if you erase my memories of today because I don’t want to know that America will become invaded by aliens and taken over by gangbangers and bullies or that Americans will become fat, greedy and corrupt. I want America as it was in the old days, like in those old movies, like in that old movie White Christmas or like another movie I saw called Our Town. One of our teachers got in trouble for showing the class that movie. She apologized a couple of days later for not being sensitive to all the students in the class. The next week she showed A Day without a Mexican. Most the class loved it because most of them are Mexicans.
That’s why I want you to send me back in time. I want all the days of my life to be without Mexicans because most of them are bullies and hate me because I’m American. I know it’s asking a lot but maybe you could send my family, including Granddad back with me. Grandma’s dead so it might be asking too much that she go back with us, but if you’re going to turn the clock backwards, maybe you could pick her up on the way. When you erase our memories about what’s going to happen to America, maybe you could leave enough memories so we still know each other. That’s all I want for Christmas, Santa, just my country back. That ain’t asking too much is it, for America to be what it was before?
Thanks, Santa
Jonny Adams
