Headline: “World of Physics Eagerly Awaits Giant Collider’s Historic Dry Run”
One of the goals of this event is to find the “God Particle,” the particle that gave the Universe its mass, thus its existence. Of course, this remarkable scientific event is occurring in Switzerland rather than in the USA because the Texas project (the Superconducting Super Collider) was shut down by congress because it would have cost about 12 billion dollars, probably less than what the U.S. spends each month killing Muslim men, women, and children and American soldiers. However, given that most people in Texas, like George Bush, believe that God created the Universe, the experiment to them would be a waste of time and money. They believe that all the scientists need to do to understand how the Universe came into existence is to buy a Bible. Perhaps if the evangelical Sarah Palin become president because President McCain will probably have a stoke, she may close down all the scientific academies, as the Christian Roman emperor Justinian I close the Greek schools of philosophy (preferring war and faith to thinking). The problem with philosophers is that they question everything, even the gods. Socrates did, and look what happened to him.
Headline: “3 Found Guilty in U.K. Plot to Bomb Planes”
Who are these guys? Mohamed’s finest: Abdulla Ahmed Ali, Assad Sarwar, and Tanvir Hussain. There were four other men with equally terrorific names. Their bomb factory was located in London. How did it get there? I thought the war in Iraq was supposed to kill the terrorists before they get to the streets of Great Britain, the United States, and other civilized countries. But the ringleader, Abdulla, was a British citizen. He also has four brothers and three sisters. Considering the rate of reproduction of these people, immigration will be the undoing of Great Britain, one way or another.
Of course, the British got what they deserved by hitching their falling star to George Bush’s doomed and immoral war in Iraq—which has resulted in almost 100,000 documented civilian death (Google “Iraq Body Count” or today’s headline “U.S. Missles Kill at Least 9 in Pakistan Militant Area”: Who died? 3 suspected foreign militants, 2 local men, 4 women and 3 children. Good job, right?).
A better policy would be to Keep the aliens out of our countries and stay out of their countries. Importing Islam into the U.S. is like hanging hand grenades on a Christmas tree. And interfering in their affairs is like pulling the pins.
And it’s time to quit treating the Middle East like it was a video game—whether Israel likes it or not.
Headline: “Bush Pulls Nuclear Deal with Russians”
“President Bush yesterday canceled a once-celebrated civilian nuclear cooperation deal with Russia.”
After he leaves office Bush must write his memoir: “How to Lose Friends and Make Enemies.” I mean he’s an expert.
The treaty would have “enhance[d] cooperation with Russia on important global nonproliferation issues.” Did Bush have a dream that told him the Rapture is near and that he should give up on eliminating nuclear weapons? It is odd that he was all about eliminating the nonexisting Weapons of Mass Destruction in Iraq, which were a threat to no one. It sounds pretty nutty to me. But then again, I’m sane, so how do expect me to understand what’s going on in that house of horrors the White House.
Oh yeah, just above the article is a picture of the French president Sarkozy and the Russian president Medvedev. Apparently Sarkozy got the Russian to agree to withdraw troops from key areas of Georgia. Damn it. I guess I will have to wait a little longer for World War III. (Kudos to the San Diego Union-Tribune for this clever arrangement.)
Headline: “Sarkozy Could Be Best Hope for Peace”
Because unlike America’s warmongering adminstration, Sarkozy has “credibility as a peacemaker. That’s because the French, unlike Americans, prefer to make war than love? Bunch of sissies. However, it is true that making love is a lot cheaper than making war. Making love also creates children rather than killing them.
Headline: “$10 Billion Bond for High-Speed Rail Sought”
“A train so swift that it could speed from San Diego to San Francisco in a little less than four hours.”
Oh, you mean a train like they have all over the place in Europe, such as the fast train between Paris and London, which takes 2 hours and 35 minutes. Of course, California can’t afford such a train because it’s broke having to support the illegal Hispanic population that now occupies it. And the federal government having its own financial problems paying for two stupid and cruel wars. The Iraq War is costing the U.S. taxpayers (present and future) 9 billion dollars per month. Good thinking George. Maybe if McCain gets into office he will give us a third war: the Iran War. Or maybe he will get us into a war with Russia, the war to end all wars because the nuclear exchange will eliminate humanity. Sounds good to me! Unfortunately, there won’t be any replays of the war on CNN.
Headline: “U.S. Takes Control of Fannie, Freddie.”
“Government rescue plan meant to calm markets.”
Hey, I thought governmental interference was socialism. Do I smell the stench of creeping communism?
Headline: “U.S. Commander Requests Review of Afghan Air Strike”
“More than 90 civilians, most of them women and children, were killed.”
“Baby killers.” Remember that old refrain from the Vietnam War. I am sure it’s reassuring to the rest of the world that America hasn’t changed. And I wonder how many women and children the Russians killed in Georgia? Will the Russians take the Gold in civilian deaths or the Americans? Right now time is on the side of Americans. And if Iraq is included, there is no doubt that the U.S. deserves the Gold in killing.
Headline: “Britney’s Big Comeback”
“Maybe the audience was simply excited to see a glimpse of Britney looking fab once again. The rebounding pop queen wore a short silver minidress with a plunging neckline, showcasting her svelte figure.”
America you are sick, sick, sick. America not only leads the world in weapons of mass destruction, but also in culture of mass stupidity. Personally, I was hoping for more from 21st century America.
Headline: “TB Patient Forced into Quarantine”
“[H]ealth officials suspected the patient was not taking his medication and was goin to work.”
The news media warns anyone who might have come in contact with this individual should contact the health authorities. However, it is also stated that the law prevents the identity of the individual to be revealed. Good work, guys. At least the person’s ethnicity could be revealed since greatest number of patients suffering from the most serious forms of tuberculosis are apparently immigrants. Looks like more bad news imported from south of the border.
Headline: “When does life begin? Obama Revisits Query.”
When the human egg does a tango with a human sperm you get a zygote (i.e., a cell). So that’s must be when life begins. But what do you really have? Cellular life. A human? I don’t think, no more than an acorn is an oak tree. Destroying an acorn isn’t the same thing as cutting down an oak tree. In fact, any regular reader of the news would probably argue that the world could use fewer humans and more trees.
